Trump Signs Executive Order Recognizing Only Two Genders: Nation Confused but Compliant

WPS News Staff Reporter, and Senior Fashion Correspondent
Baybay City | January 23, 2025

In a move that has left legal scholars scratching their heads and social media users reaching for their keyboards, President Donald Trump signed an executive order on January 20, 2025, officially declaring that the United States now recognizes only two genders. In a ceremony attended by a select group of supporters and a single confused mascot, the president proclaimed, “We’re making America gendered again!”

The announcement has sparked immediate reactions across the nation. Many Americans expressed confusion over what exactly this means for the 1.7 million residents who don’t fit neatly into the binary box. “I thought I was a non-binary goldfish last week,” said local resident and niqabi activist, Wendy Waters, “but now I’m just… confused.”

In light of the new order, citizens have started questioning their wardrobe choices as well. Reports indicate a surge in purchases of blue and pink clothing as Americans prepare to align with the gender norms of the past. “I went to the store for jeans,” shared shopper Kyle O’Toole, “but I came out with a pink tutu. Just in case. It’s good to be prepared.”

Meanwhile, members of Congress have taken to Twitter to side with either the president or their gender-neutral opinions. Senator Jane Doe tweeted, “As a strong supporter of the right to identify, I believe people can choose whatever they want—except when it comes to gender. Thanks, Trump!” Experts agree this kind of mixed messaging is part of the national identity crisis currently in play.

Not to be outdone, late-night talk show hosts have leaped at the opportunity for humor. “So many Americans are faced with the harsh reality of having only two genders; who will help them pick? Asking for a friend!” jested comedian Jimmy Klutz on his show, highlighting the absurdity the order has introduced into everyday life.

As confusion reigns and wardrobes clash, the question remains—what does it mean for the nation’s future? Psychologists suggest that the ongoing debate could lead to an uptick in support group meetings, while tailors are rejoicing over the expected boom in gender-specific alterations.

For now, the executive order has been officially added to the nation’s paper trail, right next to the Thanksgiving Day turkey pardon and the annual “No Texting While Driving” announcement.

Whether you find solace in accepting only two genders or are left pondering the fate of a gender-diverse society, one thing is clear: in Trump’s America, the only constant is change—even if that change is a step absurdly backward.