Sidebar: The Erosion of “In Sickness and in Health” in Modern Relationships

The traditional marital vow “in sickness and in health” has long symbolized a commitment to unwavering support through life’s challenges. However, like “till death do us part,” this promise is increasingly disregarded in contemporary society. Psychological and cultural shifts reveal why this vow is losing its weight.

Modern relationships often prioritize individual fulfillment over collective endurance. According to relational dialectics theory, couples navigate tensions between personal autonomy and relational commitment (Baxter and Montgomery 1996). When faced with a partner’s illness—particularly chronic or debilitating conditions—individuals may prioritize self-preservation or personal goals, leading to relational strain or dissolution. Studies show that divorce rates rise when one spouse faces serious illness, with a 2015 study finding a 6% higher likelihood of divorce in couples where one partner is diagnosed with a chronic condition (Kirby and Baucom 2015).

Economic pressures also play a role. Caregiving demands can strain finances and emotional resources, challenging the idealized notion of steadfast support. As individualism rises, the willingness to sacrifice personal well-being for a partner’s health diminishes, particularly when societal narratives frame self-care as paramount (Coontz 2005).

This trend has psychological consequences. Partners who feel unsupported during illness may experience heightened anxiety or diminished self-worth, while those who disengage may grapple with guilt or social judgment. The erosion of “in sickness and in health” reflects a broader cultural shift toward conditional commitment, underscoring the need for open dialogue about expectations in relationships facing adversity.

Works Cited

Baxter, Leslie A., and Barbara M. Montgomery. Relating: Dialogues and Dialectics. Guilford Press, 1996.

Coontz, Stephanie. Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage. Viking, 2005.

Kirby, Jennifer S., and Donald H. Baucom. “The Impact of Chronic Illness on Marital Relationships.” Journal of Family Psychology, vol. 29, no. 4, 2015, pp. 517–525.