Are you holding a grudge? About?
The shortest answer is, “No, I’m not holding a grudge.”
The long answer is a bit more complex. When I remember things which hurt me deeply, I give myself permission to feel the hurt, but I don’t give myself the latitude to let the feeling faster to bitter anger. I remind myself that St. Paul wrote, “Vengeance is mine, say the Lord; I shall repay.” When the wound festers, I pray through my feelings until the pain and hurt fade away. The prayer is like taking a Navy Size Ibuprofen, and in about 15 minutes I feel much better.
A person can’t live in the past. Whatever happens, good or bad, has happened, there is little point in dwelling on it. Too, there is the much repeated axiom that hate poisons you, not the person you are angry at. Moreover, your success is ample revenge, so focus on that. And, I do.
It took me years to learn to do this. I did learn this for the sake of my sanity.
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Carrying a grudge is like drinking poison every morning and expecting someone else to get sick. It doesn’t work, and it just ruins your day. I liked how you said pain still shows up, but you don’t let it build a house and stay. That’s wisdom.
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. It’s more like cleaning a wound. You still see the scar, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. Some people spend years polishing their anger like it’s a trophy. But anger is not gold. It rusts the mind.
Your way of praying through the pain feels like slowly melting ice with sunlight. Quiet but powerful. Respect.
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