By Cliff Potts
CSO & Editor-in-Chief, WPS News

Why I Came

I didn’t come to the Philippines to escape America.

That’s not quite true.
And it’s not quite false.

I came because someone loved me.

She wanted me here. She wanted me with her. She wanted to take care of me, and she wanted us to build memories together—the ordinary things people talk about when they finally find someone they trust. Meals. Laughter. Being goofy. Being silly. Being safe.

I arrived in the Philippines on September 5, 2023.
She died of cancer on September 3, 2025.

We didn’t have forever. But we had real time. And during that time, I was happier than I had ever been. She was sweet. She was funny. She was warm in a way that didn’t demand anything in return. She made life lighter just by being there.

That part of the story is simple.
It’s also the hardest part to say out loud.

Staying After the Reason Is Gone

When she died, the reason I came here disappeared—but the life didn’t. I didn’t arrive chasing a country or a lifestyle. I arrived because a person asked me to come. When she was gone, I found myself living inside a decision that had already been made.

I stayed.

Part of that was love.
Part of that was grief.
And part of that—if I’m honest—was America.

Because even then, years ago, something back home didn’t smell right.

What Didn’t Smell Right

I didn’t just see what was coming. I felt it. The way you feel weather change before the clouds roll in. The way you know something is off before you can explain it. Where I grew up, we didn’t intellectualize that feeling. We just said, something stinks.

Work was hollowing out. Institutions were shedding responsibility while demanding loyalty. Qualified people were being chewed up and told it was their fault. The country wasn’t collapsing—but it was rotting in places that mattered.

So when she said, come be with me, I trusted her.

It was the best decision I ever made.

What the Philippines Tells You Straight

After she died, I didn’t suddenly become an “expat.” I didn’t reinvent myself. I didn’t find closure, enlightenment, or a five-step process for healing. I just kept living where I was, in a place that didn’t pretend to be something else.

The Philippines doesn’t sugarcoat hierarchy. It doesn’t lie about obligation. It doesn’t sell the myth that effort always pays off. That clarity can be uncomfortable—but it’s honest. And after decades of American optimism layered over structural decay, honesty counts for something.

Learning Gratitude the Hard Way

One of the quieter lessons I had to learn here was about gratitude.

Back home, gratitude is verbal, immediate, and explicit. You say thank you. You say it right away. If you don’t, something’s wrong—distance, entitlement, disrespect.

Here, it doesn’t always work that way.

I gave Christmas gifts and waited for the response I’d been trained to expect. It didn’t come. No thank-you message. No acknowledgment in the form I recognized. For a moment, it felt familiar in the worst way—like giving and disappearing again.

But it wasn’t that.

In many Filipino families and relationships, especially where age or responsibility is involved, gratitude isn’t always spoken. Acceptance itself can be the acknowledgment. Saying thank you too explicitly can even create distance, as if the gift were a transaction instead of part of belonging.

I had to stop and ask instead of react. That pause mattered.

What felt like silence wasn’t dismissal. It was closeness expressed differently.

Keeping It Real

If you carry American expectations everywhere you go, you’ll misread people constantly and blame them for rules they were never taught. Learning when not to demand recognition is part of learning how to live somewhere honestly.

I’m not here for pity. I’m not here for inspiration points. I’m not here to tell anyone what choice to make.

I’m here because this is where my life landed after love did what love does: it rearranged everything, and then it ended.

Keeping it real doesn’t mean being miserable.
It means not lying about how your life actually unfolded.

Professional Note:
Dr. Cliff Potts is currently open to conversations regarding a Chief Strategy Officer role with a values-aligned organization seeking experienced leadership in strategic analysis, systems thinking, and narrative positioning.

For more social commentary, please see Occupy 2.5 at
https://Occupy25.com

Discover more from WPS News

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.